Volatile

Our word for today is volatile – extremely changeable. I realized the last few words that I have given for our writing exercise were turbulent, circuitous and now volatile. Is someone trying to tell me something? Is there mischief afoot?

I work at staying calm. Yes, there are times when I erupt! I have to be provoked, though or see an injustice, before I go “nuts.” So let’s take a look at what has changed lately or might change to cause these potential mood swings.

-      My husband has retired. However, he is doing contract work, so there is still a cash flow, albeit reduced. I’m usually not too stressed about money. I have been poor and I know that people survive, even thrive, by being frugal.

     -     My daughter and I argue constantly about her room, but this has been going     

            on for years, coming to a head every once in a while.

-      Sales have been slow, but this is not new. Who knits from April to August?

-      My labour of love, in the summer, is my garden, which is now being slowly eroded by a pesky groundhog. I’m irritated but not explosive.

-      My labour of love in the winter is needle-felting and I should be working on projects, but this summer’s heat has affected me and I’ve managed to do very little hand work. 

  

-      I haven’t been on FaceBook that much lately. I follow the Trump resistance and every post that shows the huge numbers of his supporters makes me so depressed that I could cry. I almost never cry – partly my personality and partly early training. In households trying to keep body and soul together, everyone had to keep their troubles to themselves, so as not to make life even more difficult for others.

   

-      I get huge negative feelings every time I see Doug Ford’s face in the paper, or read a piece about how the PCs are destroying everything environmentally positive, everything intelligent, everything considerate that the Liberals have put in place.

  

-      I worry constantly about the state of the world. There are too many people, and not enough resources. Climates are less predictable, more destructive. There are fewer democratic countries, and more selfish tyrants. There are fewer freedom fighters and more people willing to follow their own stupidity.

-  The economy is skewed. There are few jobs to be had. The pay is low, with fewer benefits or none at all. Owning a home is out of the question and renting is barely possible. What is there to inspire people?

Top all this worry off with a heavy dose of aging and you have the makings of a volatile situation. There are days, when I think, "Where can I go?" "What can I do to make this better?" "How is it all going to end?"

Writing is therapy. I do feel a sense of purpose, when I write. I know these daily positives will spill over to the other areas of my life. I'm already working on Remembrance Day kits. Now if I could only get to that book!!

Have a thoughtful day!