Thursday, August 22, 2013

Dorothy Parker

I don't think I really appreciated Dorothy Parker when I was studying or teaching poetry. She had a few poems that I liked. However, I either found them not pithy enough or not funny enough. Mashable just posted a blog on her, given that it's the poet's 120th birthday. OK she died in 1967, but her words live on. Mashable asked people to post their favourite Dorothy Parker quote. Here are a few:

1. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

2. The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.

3. Men seldom make passes
   At girls who wear glasses.

4. On Katherine Hepburn - She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

5. I love to drink a martini,
But only two at the most.
After three, I'm under the table,
After four, I'm under the host

Another type of horticulture

6. When asked to use the term horticulture in a sentence, she responded with - You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. Don't worry if you don't get it the first time. Hint: it involves a pun.

7. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

8. A few more:
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common." 
"Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

9. "I am too f*cking busy and vice-versa."

All this and she was only 4' 11" high. When she died she left her ashes to an enemy, who refused to pick them up. They hung around with her lawyer for years until they were given a decent burial by the NAACP, to whom she left her entire estate. They created a memorial garden for her. Apparently she died almost friendless. There is something about the acerbic retort that makes for great humour, but not great empathy. I don't know, I thought that friends were to accept you as you are - maybe she was really hard to accept.

Now, I would have followed her on Facebook!!

Have great day!!


  1. Awesome quote collection! I didn't know that was all Dorothy Parker.

  2. Years ago, one of my high school teachers compared me to Dorothy Parker. He was praising me - I think. To this day, I'm really not sure. (I do love her sayings, though I don't think I would have been in her circle of friends.)